I sometimes struggle to keep my style appropriate while expressing myself. Today, I chose to wear a loose sweater with a skort, mustard tights, and combat boots. The hat added a little a little sass.
I bought these mustard tights a few month ago and I’ve had been a little hesitant to wear them. Today, I was feeling like wearing a loud, yet understated outfit. I had fun with this outfit, so I did a mini photoshoot in my office.
Hello to those of you who are new to Naturalechronicles.com!
Allow me to introduce myself professionally:
Here is my resume:
Many of you are well-acquainted with my fashion-oriented side, but haven’t seen me operate in a professional arena. I will create a portfolio tab on the navigation menu so you all can occasionally check in and see what I’m up to.
Thanks for reading,
Timi Komonibo
“Naturale Chronicles”
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What do you do when you walk into a restaurant and see an attractive stranger sitting by himself?
Do you give him some space and pick a seat a seat where you can look your fill without interruption? Do you ask “is this seat taken?” and when he says no slide into the seat across from him? Or do you sit far away from him and pretend the attraction does not exist?
Your answer reveals a lot about your dating philosophy. It tells how slow (or fast) you like to take things. It hints at your degree of old fashionness and it is a telltale sign of your boldness with the opposite sex.
If I had been presented with this scenario a few months ago, I would have chosen the first option where I didn’t interact with the gorgeous man but I simply sat hoping that he would somehow sense my interest and approach me. After being single for a bit, I realized the glaring flaw in my approach. Everyone, deep down, is afraid of rejection. A man is unlikely to express interest if he is unsure that it is mutual. For the longest time, I would be mysteriously flirty around my crushes. Sometimes it was blatant and everyone is the room could feel, other times it would be so subtle that you would think you were imagining it. After all, I didn’t want to lay all my cards on the table and make the guy think I was…what, interested in getting to know him? Attracted to him?
As women, we have this fear that our interest will be mistaken for thirstiness so we feign indifference and send mixed signals. We often miss out on potential relationships because we’re afraid of making a move. Making a move seems to be controversial so many women shy away from it. I recommend that women should make A move to show they are interested. It doesn’t have to be THE move that get things moving towards a relationship, but it should give the guy the green light to say “hi, I’m approachable and would not be opposed to having a nice chat with you.” It’s not a big deal. It’s not as though Bruno Mars’ “Hey Baby, I think I wanna Marry You” will start playing overhead when you make a move. It shows that you are a confident woman and that you are willing to take risks to get what you want.
Don’t judge me, but I have been watching Hallmark movies and taking notes on dating. Yes, I know Hallmark isn’t real, but the romantic scenarios and interactions presented are very similar to real life events I have witnessed. I have often watched the romance movie wide-eyed thinking, “whoa, some people sure do move fast in the romance department!” I am Nigerian and for me the courting process is a multi-step endeavor that includes a long string of people, not just the bride and the groom. The timeline for romance that I observed in these movies did not match the ones I had observed growing up. Women saw what they want and hinted (or sometimes they came right out and declared) their attraction. The old-fashioned gal in me clutched my pearls at their forwardness. The other part of me wondered where I could get a dose of their gumption.
The truth about dating is that you get what you put in. Meaning, if you never make a move of interest, you’ll never see any results.
These days, my natural disposition is calm and collected (most of the time). I have been reading more and spending more time alone with myself. As I’ve gotten older, I have found myself gaining more introversion traits.
But as much as I enjoy being by myself, it’s not very conducive for for making friends and getting to know people. One thing that makes socializing difficult is the fact that I despise small talk. It’s so insincere and full of fluff. I dislike initiating small talk or being small-talked to. As you can imagine, talking to strangers for extended amounts of time is torture for me. Or at least it was until I changed my mindset. I realized that small talk is what you do with people whom you have no interest in ever getting to know on a personal level. If you ever want to get to know someone, you have to engage them in two-way communication– you listen a little and talk a little. As lame as it may sound, I have to actively remind myself that I am a human being who craves authentic relationships. Authentic relationships don’t happen over night– you have to put in work.
Yesterday evening, I went to a family dinner with members of a church I had started going to with a friend from school. Before I went to the dinner, I remember flexing my jaw and clearing my throat for the amount of speaking I was about to be doing. I was prepared to run through my script of small talk pleasantries that typically sounded something like this:
Where are you from?...Oh that's nice...I'm from Houston, Texas...Uh huh, I AM quite far from home...I'm in the graduate school program studying...
As soon as I walked through the door, one of the hosts pulled me into a hug and I knew that I would not have much use for my script that evening. Let me explain: I have been waiting for the feeling of belongingness in a church or small group of friends. I feel a version of it in my grad program– that sense of camaraderie and mutual respect. But what I felt in that simple hug enough for me to let my guard down. We sat down, a motley crew of broke graduate students, teachers, pastors, parents, and their children, and ate a family dinner of baked ziti, corn, and meatballs. We had nothing in common except for our faith and love for God. I surprised myself by how much I talked to people (and how much Vernors Ginger Ale I drank). I felt very relaxed and comfortable when I realized was surrounded by people I would love to see again. It’s hard to waste time with small talk when you really want to get to know someone.
I am enjoying getting to know the wonderful people around me. They are so kind and genuine. That is something I specifically prayed for when I decided to come to Syracuse. I want to meet people I can call friends and be able count on for friendship and counsel. I won’t let a little introversion get in the way of that.
Funny enough, when I look at the qualities of extroverts and introverts, I would say I’m a little bit of both. I hope I can maintain that balance. I think everyone can use a little bit of introversion and extroversion in their lives. It keeps us from going crazy.
If you haven’t already read BuzzFeed’s 27 Problems Only Introverts Will Understand, check it out!
Today was a day of celebration for my friend-classmate, Julia, and her family so we decided to have a friendship dinner.
Dinner was full of great food and great company. I hope we can make these kind of hangouts a repeating thing. These ladies are so much fun and we always end of talking and laughing long after the food is gone. I’m glad to have them in my grad program.
I don’t know Julia’s recipe for the fish tacos but I will definitely ask her for it so I can share the wealth. I love fish tacos, so I would definitely put it to good use.
This was actually my first time shopping at a Salvation Army. I had shopped at Goodwill and other resale shops but, for some reason, not Salvation Army. Luckily, we went on a Wednesday, so many of the items were 50% off.
Before I started shopping, I gave myself a budget and a shopping objective. My budget was $20 and my shopping objective was to find articles of clothing with good prints and patterns.
I bought 8 items and I was a teensy bit under budget. Call me a Happy Thrifter.
Look Ma, I went running!
Every time my foot connected with the pavement, I was stomping out my doubt and fear of running. I’m no Olympic runner. Heck, just thinking about running used to make me break into hives. But there I was, taking a jog around my neighborhood.
Along the way, a few things gave me motivation:
#1. My “DIVA Radio” pandora station had Riri and Bey yelling in my ear to keep me going. Sometimes, I felt like stopping to dutty wine but it didn’t seem appropriate so it kept me moving. I would run through the songs and take a walk break during the commercials. I thought of my run in terms of how many songs I’d be able to run though.
#2. The cute guy at the end of the street. You know when you’re running and about to take a break, but you don’t want people to see you stopping and starting over again? Yea, I wanted to run past that cute stranger and not have to stop and lean over, wheezing in front of him. I also had stopping markers, like if you run to the playground you can stop and take a break. It gave me something to look forward to.
#3. My lack of direction. I somehow got lost jogging around my neighborhood (I just moved in last month lol) and I was running around trying to find my way back to my house.
#4. My doctor. I had gone to the doctor to get a check up and he asked me if I exercised. I said no and he shot back “why not? You’d better start now before it gets harder to start. Your heart condition is not an excuse.” A few years ago, we discovered that there was a teeny tiny hole in my heart. Doctors were kind of mystified by it, which only served to scaring me into a sedentary lifestyle. To me, my heart was unpredictable and could let me down at any time. When my new doctor assured me that my heart would benefit from the exercise, I was free from the excuse that had driven me to inactivity.
#5. My pastor’s wife. This woman is relentless about her fitness journey. I’ve been able to track her progress on Instagram and it’s so cool to see how she wears the sweat on her brow like a badge of honor. She is consistent and she enjoys running.
Today’s run was not terrible at all. I’m hoping the next time will be as nice as this time. It was nice running by myself and thinking about life. I started thinking about all the things I thought I couldn’t do that I’m doing now. I’ve grown so much in the past couple of years after undergrad. I’m slowly eliminating the word “can’t” from my vocabulary. It doesn’t apply to me enough. God has already exceeded the expectations I had for myself. He has opened doors I didn’t even know were there and He has granted me unparalleled favor.
I used to have a mental list of things I couldn’t do. It’s not a list of things I haven’t done yet.
We took a road trip to Niagara Falls!
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Farewell pictures
I had to say goodbye because they were about to fly back to Houston. I love them for coming to move me in. It would have been impossible without them. I hope my whole family can come visit at some point. Maybe they can spend a winter holiday with me and experience the endless snow heheh!
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