#31WriteNow: Happy Birthday, Bro.

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At 5pm, I submitted my final project for my graphics class and thus completed my last class of the summer session. Check out some of my graphics work at this link.

After a long day of class, my grad program cohort and I went out to eat some Korean food and sing some karaoke.

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The different dishes for our meal

I had a blast this evening. Eating delicious food and singing upbeat songs helped me forget about how long today had been. But it didn’t let me forget what today is.

Today is August 9th, my older brother’s birthday. He would have been 26 years old. Sometimes, I wonder what he would have looked like today if he would lived past the age of 15. I wonder if he’d have had a steady girlfriend. Wonder what career he would have picked and where he would be living. Wonder how his facial hair would have grown in. Wonder if he’d still be making people smile.

All I can do is wonder until I see him again one day. I miss him and lament the fact that so many people in my life are unaware that he once existed. I didn’t bring up my brother’s birthday even one time (other than on Twitter) today because it’s a reality I like to push into the back of my brain. But here in the privacy of my room, I let my guard down and the memories of he and I come flooding back to me. As painful as they are, I am glad they’re still there. They’re a reminder that he once existed. If not for those memories, it’d be as though I made up that charmingly mischievous boy. Although we had Tonbara with us for only 15 years, I am grateful for every second we had.

Happy 26th Birthday, Tonbara!

#31WriteNow: We Crave Authentic Relationships

Friends, Life, , ,

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These days, my natural disposition is calm and collected (most of the time). I have been reading more and spending more time alone with myself. As I’ve gotten older, I have found myself gaining more introversion traits.

But as much as I enjoy being by myself, it’s not very conducive for for making friends and getting to know people. One thing that makes socializing difficult is the fact that I despise small talk. It’s so insincere and full of fluff. I dislike initiating small talk or being small-talked to. As you can imagine, talking to strangers for extended amounts of time is torture for me. Or at least it was until I changed my mindset. I realized that small talk is what you do with people whom you have no interest in ever getting to know on a personal level. If you ever want to get to know someone, you have to engage them in two-way communication– you listen a little and talk a little. As lame as it may sound, I have to actively remind myself that I am a human being who craves authentic relationships. Authentic relationships don’t happen over night– you have to put in work.

Yesterday evening, I went to a family dinner with members of a church I had started going to with a friend from school. Before I went to the dinner, I remember flexing my jaw and clearing my throat for the amount of speaking I was about to be doing. I was prepared to run through my script of small talk pleasantries that typically sounded something like this:

Where are you from?...Oh that's nice...I'm from Houston, Texas...Uh huh, I AM quite far from home...I'm in the graduate school program studying...

As soon as I walked through the door, one of the hosts pulled me into a hug and I knew that I would not have much use for my script that evening. Let me explain: I have been waiting for the feeling of belongingness in a church or small group of friends. I feel a version of  it in my grad program– that sense of camaraderie and mutual respect. But what I felt in that simple hug enough for me to let my guard down. We sat down, a motley crew of broke graduate students, teachers, pastors, parents, and their children, and ate a family dinner of baked ziti, corn, and meatballs. We had nothing in common except for our faith and love for God. I surprised myself by how much I talked to people (and how much Vernors Ginger Ale I drank). I felt very relaxed and comfortable when I realized was surrounded by people I would love to see again. It’s hard to waste time with small talk when you really want to get to know someone.

I am enjoying getting to know the wonderful people around me. They are so kind and genuine. That is something I specifically prayed for when I decided to come to Syracuse. I want to meet people I can call friends and be able count on for friendship and counsel. I won’t let a little introversion get in the way of that.

Funny enough, when I look at the qualities of extroverts and introverts, I would say I’m a little bit of both. I hope I can maintain that balance. I think everyone can use a little bit of introversion and extroversion in their lives. It keeps us from going crazy.

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If you haven’t already read BuzzFeed’s 27 Problems Only Introverts Will Understand, check it out!

#31WriteNow: Friendship and Fish Tacos

Friends, Good Eats, Life

Today was a day of celebration for my friend-classmate, Julia, and her family so we decided to have a friendship dinner.

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Step 1: Rub the spices onto the fish
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Step 2: Slice up tomatoes and veggies
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Step 3: Pan-fried the fish (medium heat)

 

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Step 4: While the fish is still moist, mashed it with a fork and lower (or turn off) the heat

 

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Step 5: Put the fish on a tortilla, add cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and any other toppings
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Step 6: Sit down and enjoy with friends

Dinner was full of great food and great company. I hope we can make these kind of hangouts a repeating thing. These ladies are so much fun and we always end of talking and laughing long after the food is gone. I’m glad to have them in my grad program.

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Jennifer, Julia, and I (left to right)

I don’t know Julia’s recipe for the fish tacos but I will definitely ask her for it so I can share the wealth. I love fish tacos, so I would definitely put it to good use.

 

#31WriteNow: Salvation Army Thrift Haul

Fashion, Thrifting, Vlogs

This was actually my first time shopping at a Salvation Army. I had shopped at Goodwill and other resale shops but, for some reason, not Salvation Army. Luckily, we went on a Wednesday, so many of the items were 50% off.

Before I started shopping, I gave myself a budget and a shopping objective. My budget was $20 and my shopping objective was to find articles of clothing with good prints and patterns.

I bought 8 items and I was a teensy bit under budget. Call me a Happy Thrifter.

#31WriteNow: The Things I Thought I Couldn’t Do

Life, Thought I'd Share, , , ,

Look Ma, I went running!

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Every time my foot connected with the pavement, I was stomping out my doubt and fear of running. I’m no Olympic runner. Heck, just thinking about running used to make me break into hives. But there I was, taking a jog around my neighborhood. 

Along the way, a few things gave me motivation:

#1. My “DIVA Radio” pandora station had Riri and Bey yelling in my ear to keep me going. Sometimes, I felt like stopping to dutty wine but it didn’t seem appropriate so it kept me moving. I would run through the songs and take a walk break during the commercials. I thought of my run in terms of how many songs I’d be able to run though. 

#2. The cute guy at the end of the street. You know when you’re running and about to take a break, but you don’t want people to see you stopping and starting over again? Yea, I wanted to run past that cute stranger and not have to stop and lean over, wheezing in front of him. I also had stopping markers, like if you run to the playground you can stop and take a break. It gave me something to look forward to. 

#3. My lack of direction. I somehow got lost jogging around my neighborhood (I just moved in last month lol) and I was running around trying to find my way back to my house.

#4. My doctor. I had gone to the doctor to get a check up and he asked me if I exercised. I said no and he shot back “why not? You’d better start now before it gets harder to start. Your heart condition is not an excuse.” A few years ago, we discovered that there was a teeny tiny hole in my heart. Doctors were kind of mystified by it, which only served to scaring me into a sedentary lifestyle. To me, my heart was unpredictable and could let me down at any time. When my new doctor assured me that my heart would benefit from the exercise, I was free from the excuse that had driven me to inactivity.

#5. My pastor’s wife. This woman is relentless about her fitness journey. I’ve been able to track her progress on Instagram and it’s so cool to see how she wears the sweat on her brow like a badge of honor. She is consistent and she enjoys running.

Today’s run was not terrible at all. I’m hoping the next time will be as nice as this time. It was nice running by myself and thinking about life. I started thinking about all the things I thought I couldn’t do that I’m doing now. I’ve grown so much in the past couple of years after undergrad. I’m slowly eliminating the word “can’t” from my vocabulary. It doesn’t apply to me enough. God has already exceeded the expectations I had for myself. He has opened doors I didn’t even know were there and He has granted me unparalleled favor. 

I used to have a mental list of things I couldn’t do. It’s not a list of things I haven’t done yet.

Sunday Best: Jumpers and Bodycons

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Happy Sunday, everyone! To continue what seems to be my obsession with coral and red, here’s my Sunday outfit. I’m wearing one of my favorite thrift finds– this coral button-down jumper dress. Inside the jumper, I have on a bodycon dress worn as a shirt. I’m trying to make appropriate use of old bodycons lol. These days, I’m going for a more modest look.

Excuse the wrinkles, I was folded over in the pews this morning.